Archive | April, 2013

Finals Should Not Exist

30 Apr

    So I was going to edit my previous post, because when I got back from bible study last night I realized how disjointed it was. Sorry about that.  But then I realized that if I did that I would spend far too much time trying to fix it and as soon as I had finished I would realize something else that I wanted to say and this cycle would just go on and on and on. So you know what I am going to do? I am going to let it sit.   And I am going to be okay with it being imperfect. 

Moving forward.  Grad School + Finals Week = Bad Eating Decisions.  

This week I finish my first year of graduate school! Woohoo! The problem with this? These past two weeks have done nothing to help my eating decisions.  With several projects, papers, presentations and final exams leaves little time for healthy eating. All of this work has led to incessant snacking and eating whatever I could.  

However I had been feeling pretty good about myself, I ran in a 10k this past weekend (the furthest I have ever ran) and a 5k the week before that, and something called the Great Urban Race the week before that (more on that for another day).  I mean I am a decently active person.  Growing up I played sports year round from the time I was 5 to when I graduated high school and even then I played every intramural sport possible in undergrad and now in grad school. So how could I be the “athletic” one ( I was runner up for the most athletic superlative my senior year in high school) and still be one of the larger girls?

Enough flashback for now, and back to what I was saying before I rambled on.  I had been feeling pretty good about myself but then I stepped on the scale last night and saw that I was the heaviest I had been in awhile and worried that I was on a slippery slope towards being my heaviest ever. Granted I haven’t gained that that much, but to a female anytime the needle on the scale begins to budge to the right instead of the left (or up instead of down in the case of electronic scales) can be a disheartening blow.

Part of this could be that I suffered from the fallacy yet again thinking that because I was more active then I could eat more and really overestimated the amount of calories I had burned. Most of it though I would want to contribute to finals week.

Let me just tell you how finals has messed with me today alone.  I got up this morning originally planning to go on a short run, do a bit of last minute studying and then go to campus and take my exam.  What actually happens: I get up, do some studying, realize the time and worry that I am going to be late ( I like to get places early so I can have a chance to chill before exams or classes) and then rush off to campus,  The time I thought it was when I left for school? 7:30 – the time I usually leave for class.  The time it actually was but I didn’t realize until I was parked on campus? 6:30. Plenty of time if I were still at home where I could have went on a run, showered, and studied more before going to campus.

Ironically enough as of last night the amount of weight that I would like to lose to get to my ideal goal weight equals that of how much my dog Charlie weighs.  It seems fitting that this blog which its title was taken from my dog and will contain alot about my dog further involves my dog.  But its not just about the dog. It is also about me.

My name is Holley and I want to lose the dog with the broken ear.

(P.S. I was going to add a story about my pup but then realized how long this post was already getting so I figured I would spare your eyes and brains from reading it all, just this once. Instead I will leave you with this picture of him the day I first got him over just over 1.5 years ago)

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Black is my best friend

29 Apr

Hello blogworld how are you today?

This is me (the one on the left) visiting one of my friends (who I never get to see as I am off at graduate school) and her dog Stella.

Black is my best friend

While not the best quality picture because it was taken with my phone, I am surprised at how flattering this picture is of me(maybe its because I am wearing black) and by some force of nature my hair decided to behave.  I am not a skinny-minnie by any means but nor am I obese, however I could stand to be a bit healthier.  (I could show some of the more unflattering pictures but I think I might save those until I have some after pictures to compare to.)

That is one of my goals for this year : be healthier (which is a problem because I am an avid baker and love to bake cookies and cakes whenever I get the chance)

This is me putting it all out there, or at least attempting to.

Like an person on this planet with two X chromosomes (that is the one for female right? I was never good at science) I am insecure about my weight.  Have I ever vocalized these insecurities to anyone? No, well maybe with the exception of one or two rare people.  No I have gone these ups and downs in my life internally. When friends talk about themselves saying “I’m so fat” verbally I tell them that they are crazy, because they are to think that, but in my head I am thinking “If you think you are fat then I must be a whale”.

But today I have decided to take a stand and using the media that is so filled our lives today I have decided to blog about it.  Do I care if anyone reads it? No, but I do hope that maybe it can help to reach other people where we can build an uplifting community.

Throughout this process I will tell you about my struggles, my successes, my past , to well just anything in general, and you will also hear A TON about my dog.  If I tried to put it all together here and now you would probably end up with a novel that you would not want to read, If you haven’t picked it up already I tend to ramble.

Now you may think to yourself “The Dog with the Broken Ear” that is a weird name for a self-discovery/trying to be healthy/etc blog” and I admit it, it kinda is, but I promise there is a reason behind it.

 

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This is Charlie.  He is my 1.5 year Beagle/Basset Hound mix and he is pretty much my life, I seriously treat him as if he is my own child.  We say that he has a broken ear or ears because quite regularly one or both of his ears ends up flipped over the wrong way and he never seems to given any indication of either noticing or caring (I hope to get a picture of that up soon but for now this is what you are left with).

And that is what I want to get out of this experience.  I was want to be “the dog with the broken ear” the one who just loves who they are and being with who they are with and not caring what other people think, the one who may look ridiculous at times but doesn’t care , the one whose vocabulary does not even know the meaning of self-conscious.

My name is Holley I am overweight and I want to be just like the dog with the broken ear.