High School Graduation

4 Jun

Today marks Day 9 of my run streak and day 4 of Juneathon.  Today I did my 220 squats in the am and then ran 2.75 miles this afternoon followed by nice walk.  It was once again hot  and I tried to mix it by running random loops etc.

So this post is short on the workout and longer on another subject which is not workout related at all.

The following is the status I posted on facebook today

“With highschool graduations going on back home yesterday and today I’m reminded that if my sister was still here I would have been home to see her walk across that stage. I sometimes wonder what she would have grown up to be. Would she be more of a tomboy like myself or more of a girly-girl that I’m sure my mom wanted sometimes. Would she had gone to my undergraduate college? My brother’s college? My graduate college ? Or something completely different. I will never know but I will always love her for the time I had with her.”

I had a younger sister she passed away of unknown causes expectantly when she was 2 years old. I was 7 years old and my brother was 5.  This year she would have been 18 and graduating from high school. I think about her often and sometimes I wonder if deep down subconsciously her passing has effected my life in various way other than the obvious.  Is she why I strived hard in undergrad and graduated with 3 degrees, because she would never get the chance to earn one? Is she the reason why I give it my all and try to do everything in life?

For anyone that knows me would know that I don’t drink at all. Not a single drop. (On the class trip to Ireland we visited the Guinness Brewery and Jameson Distillery and let me tell you that I was everybody’s best friend as they were vying to get my free drink ticket). Part of it is for religious reasons, others for completely different reasons (I had a cousin die in a drunk driving accident, I hate the smell, don’t want to waste money on it when I could buy something else like chocolate or electronics, I have an addictive personality, I tend to drink what is in front of me (especially at a restaurant when my food has come yet), my parents don’t so I’ve never really been around it much, etc).  I have said though that the only time I will ever drink an alcoholic beverage would be champagne or wine on my wedding day.  Secretly (I don’t think I have ever ever told anyone this ) I’ve always wanted to get married on my sister’s 21st birthday.  I feel like it would be symbolic to celebrate both her birthday and a wedding and my first and only drink on the day that she would be legally able to in the U.S.

I know it’s kinda silly and that probably won’t happen but its what I think about sometimes.

I know right now that Shelbey is having a blast in heaven and joyously dancing with my grandpa. But sometimes even after all these years it can be hard.  I have a bear (Franklin) given to me by my first-grade teacher at Shelbey’s funeral and to this day it sits either in or on my bed. It has gone nearly everywhere with me throughout the years. Camp, sleepovers, New York. I came close to taking it to Haiti and then Ireland with me but I was worried something could happen to it on the flight or in transit so I wisely left it at home.

I know this post wasn’t exactly what you were looking for or necessarily wanting to read (especially for my Juneathon followers). But it was going to be written and needed to be written.

At my Grandparent’s for Easter many years ago:

Image

My name is Holley and I am doing this for my baby sister Shelbey

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